This is what kids in China do for fun--crawl in plastic balls in the middle of a river. I wanted to do it too, but apparently I'm too big or something crazy like that. However, I'm 15 lbs. smaller than I was this time three months ago, so maybe in another three months they'll let me play in the ball too.
Tonight, I was supposed to make mashed potatoes to take to dinner at Liz's. You might not realize this, but making mashed potatoes without a KitchenAid, or a beater, or a potato masher is a bit of a challenge. I spent half an hour mashing potatoes with a fork, and then I gave up and used my hands. It was like playing with Play-Doh. My method wasn't perfect, though. They were more like lumped potatoes than mashed potatoes, but it's China--gotta take what you can get.
The latest student-ism: "When the cat's away, the rats will dance."
Walmart in Guiyang
Fall in Guiyang
I just survived a really long weekend. Kinda sad when you need the rest of the week to recover :) We went to Guiyang for Thanksgiving on Thursday, and we came back to Anshun Sunday evening. It was a really busy and really expensive weekend. On Thursday, we ate turkey (imported all the way from America! It was an expensive bird). We also had green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, stuffing, potato casserole, chocolate pudding pie, wassail, sweet potatoes...I think that might be all. Oh, and rolls. There were eight Americans all together, and our food was fabulous. I was scooping the stuffing out of the turkey when I discovered that not only did Kara and Susie stuff the stomach, they stuffed the neck. And stapled it shut. And they stuck an orange in the other end to keep everything in. And they cooked the turkey upside down. We never told them that, we just laughed to ourselves.
On Friday, we went DVD shopping and to Pizza Hut. It was sort of like being on a DVD diet and then finding a DVD buffet. I am the proud new owner of Pirates of the Caribbean, Ocean's 12, Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Shrek, and season 4 of The Simpsons. We saw a group of Americans adopting Chinese babies while we were at Pizza Hut. I think it must be a signal of having been in China for awhile, because we think that any foreigner should talk to us, and we were a little miffed that none of the parents came over to say hi. But that's life.
On Saturday, we had the longest day of my life. We left at 9:30 to go to Huaxi, a neighboring city. We ate lunch, some of the girls rode horses for 2 hours, we went to a bookstore, we got a snack, we went to the American-owned (!) coffee shop, and finally we went home. We probably walked a total of 7 miles that day, and our feet were killing us. However, the American-owned coffee shop, while close to ten times more expensive than any other restaurant, was exactly like an American coffee house. It was amazing.
On Sunday, we went to fellowship at 8:30, ate lunch, went to Wal-Mart, went to the cheese/butter place, and went to the cocoa powder place. That's a grand total of about eight city blocks' worth of walking, which is a looooong way, especially given our day on Saturday. We finally got home at 5:30 totally exhausted. Guiyang is a nice place to visit, but I always leave so wiped out, which I hate. The good news is that aside from a lunch banquet in December, we won't do it again until at least March. Man, I'm getting so old.
I was teaching my oral class yesterday, and we were going over ways to apologize. I told them that the last five ways listed in their book needed a verb that was in past tense, such as "I regret that..." I had them practicing apologizing for certain things (losing a book, tearing a sweater, etc.). I was walking around the classroom listening to them, and I began hearing, "I apologize for broking your window." I realized that "I apologize for..." was one of the last five patterns in their book, and I hadn't read it closely enough to tell them that it needed a present tense verb. Some grammar teacher I am. But it was funny. Maybe you had to be there.
This is how they sell meat in the market (at least, the kind of meat that's not still wiggling around). I've decided that Americans are too uptight about some things. All of China buys pork this way, and it's not like there's been a population decrease. Anyway, essentially you go up to the person who is selling the meat and point to what you want. You tell them how many jins you'd like (a jin is 1.1 lbs) and whether or not you want it ground. So far, all my pork has been worm-free, which is more than I can say for my broccoli.
Not a whole lot has been happening around here. Finals are the week of January 1(they have the longest semesters EVER here). Tomorrow, we are going to Guiyang for the weekend. Foreign teachers don't have classes tomorrow or Friday. We are staying with our team there. We will have a Thanksgiving dinner with turkey and everything. The turkey was 300 yuan, close to $50, but hopefully it will be worth it. We are also going to Pizza Hut, the new coffee shop owned by Americans, the ice cream place...I think that might be all. Oh yes, we are going to buy more cheese. I'll report later if it goes anything like the last time we bought cheese. . .
My students told me to pull a string, and this banner unfolded along with a ton of confetti
My students gave me 23 flowers for my 23rd birthday
This is the woman who works in a shop on campus that I go to almost every day. Her little girl always smiles so big for me. It's such a nice change from being stared and pointed at all the time. Every time she grins and giggles and says hi to me, it melts my heart. I love Chinese kids!
My tutor, Emily, teaches private English lessons to these high school students on the weekend, and I guest-taught their class. (Notice my hair--it was a little breezy outside).
This is a picture of the wires that go around my ceiling, and the reason that they were sparking is because one of them is obviously completely burnt. That made me feel nice and safe. Luckily, my wires are fixed now and my electricity works, but getting it that way was kind of an interesting experience. The electrician came over. He is probably no bigger than my brother--my 12 year old brother. He brought in a ladder that had the bottom rung missing, and then he climbed to the very top. You know how ladders in the States have the warnings that say do not stand any higher than this step? Ladders in China do not have that. Then he proceeded to work on my electrical wiring WITHOUT TURNING OFF THE ELECTRICITY. Here he is, poking at things with his metal pliers and I am thinking, "Oh no, he is going to die right here in my apartment, and then what am I going to do?" I was pretty sure that even if he didn't electricute himself, he'd fall off the ladder and break his neck, and I'm not quite sure what the protocol is for having a small dead Chinese man in your home. Thankfully, he survived and after my 2 1/2 day stint of pretending to be Amish, I now have heat and light. I'm still a little puzzled as to why he didn't turn the electricity off before he started cutting things, but whatever. There are a lot of things in China I just don't get.
Now that my electricity is in relatively good shape, my toilet is broken. I pushed the button to flush it and the entire button kind of caved in. It's built in to the center of the ceramic lid, so I thought maybe it had just fallen off of whatever holds it, and I could fix it. Clearly, based on the last two sentences, I know nothing about plumbing. But that didn't stop me. I took off the lid and dinked around, kind of like the guys who look under the hoods of cars and unscrew things and grunt like they are mechanics, but they end up pouring the radiator fluid into the wiper fluid reservoir. I tried to figure out how to reattach the button, but as you have probably figured out by now (or you should have figured out by now if you have been paying any attention). . .I couldn't fix it. So now the lid for the toilet tank/reserve/thingy on top of the toilet is on my bathroom floor, along with the parts for the button, and the water won't stop running. Not that it matters a whole lot since Chinese toilets don't have any water in the bowl. Charlie is going to call the maintenance staff to fix it (because they'll be so thrilled to be at my house again), but in the meantime, as soon as I get into the bathroom, I start filling up the bucket of water to pour down the toilet. Nothing like manual flushing.
Today, Liz and I helped Joni move, and for one reason or another, she was incredibly rude and condescending to us. She talked to me really slowly, like I was either six years old or a non-native speaker. I freakin speak English woman! But, by the grace of the father, I held my tongue. And that is all I am going to say about that or I will go on for another twelve paragraphs.
Sometimes, I really really dislike China. Like today. This is Sunday morning, November 12, despite whatever the computer says the posting time is. Friday night, the wires in my living room started sparking--a lot. I unplugged everything in my house and went to bed. Yesterday, the power went out. Mr. Liu came over to fix it. He looked at the breaker box thingy in the kitchen, and then he hit the wires with the end of my mop and the electricity was working again. It went on and off all day yesterday, and today it is totally off, probably because one of the wires is completely burnt. For one reason or another, there is one outlet in my house that works. It must be connected through different wiring or something, I don't know. So I have extension cords running ALL over the place, and I am praying that my hot water is still hot so I can shower. The electrician is coming tomorrow...I just have to make it another 24 hours!
Holy cow, I am sooo full. I don't think I've been this full since I got to China. I just went to dinner with Liz and we got soy beans, pork, and cabbage. And rice, of course, but that goes without saying. The best part is that we got ice cream after dinner. Getting ice cream in China is always a bit of a gamble as you might think you are getting chocolate when you are really getting red bean. If you want to go the vegetable route, you can also select corn or green pea. We spend a lot of time at the ice cream cooler picking things up and saying, "What do you think this looks like?" Anyway, I chose zebra ice cream. That's right, it was a zebra on a stick. In light of having recently read Life of Pi, it was slightly disturbing, but it was actually really good--chocolate and vanilla. I've been struggling with being depressed lately, but after having consumed a lot of food and good ice cream, I am in a stellar mood.
Not much has happened recently. Today, we helped Joni pack up her things. She is moving because the people who live below her have a restuarant, and in the winter the coal stoves vent into her apartment. The complicating factor is that she leaves for Thailand tomorrow and she hasn't quite found a house yet. She was possibly going to look at a house this afternoon. If that house works out, she will rent it and we will come help her finish packing on Friday, the day after she gets back from Thailand. If that house does not work out, she will move into the English Salon (she's the owner) until she finds a place. It's insane! Liz and I were packing up her kitchen this afternoon and rooting around in really deep cabinets. We pulled out popsicle molds...and there was a cockroach in one of them. You can imagine how happy we were about that, so we put it upside down on the counter and shrieked for awhile. Later, we doused it with bug spray and let it die. I wasn't too thrilled about sticking my hands in the cupboards after that.
In other news, I gave my listening class a quiz this morning. I'd told them very specifically what to study, and last week I gave them 45 mins or so of class time to study. I let them borrow my book, which had all the right answers in it. They should've been well-prepared for this quiz. It consisted of 5 vocab words they had to define and 8 short answer questions. They were not happy, to say the least. Theresa piped up and said, "Do we get to listen to the tapes?" I told her no and that she had to write the answers, and she said, "This is a listening class, not a recitation class." I said, "I told you what to study. If you don't know the answers, guess." This class is notorious for whining ALL the time. They kept complaining, and I finally told them that they were in college, college is difficult, and they should stop complaining or I'll make it harder next time. And the thing is, most of them got pretty high grades on the quiz--they knew the answers. They were whining for the sake of whining. Good grief. College kids.
Some things students have written that are sweet or just funny:
*Please excuse the profanity*: "Damn it! I hate English! Why can't everyone just learn Chinese?" ~Rain
"And when police women wear police clothes, that's very cool" ~Morgan
"Love can save a life" ~Sylvia
"Sometimes, love is no need more any words, it may no flowers, no money. The love is silence pay out, but you not need return. Rose maybe bring love, but it [is] not [the] agent [of] true love" ~Grace
"Let my life become colorful" ~Charles
Things I am learning/observing in China:
-It's okay to wear the same clothes 4 or 5 days without washing them
-It's okay to only shower once or twice a week
-It's a little like living in the middle of the zoo or the stock show
-Bugs are a way of life
-There are many opportunities to come face to face with your own filth
-Never leave home without toilet paper or Kleenex and hand sanitizer
-Don't wait too long to do laundry, as it takes 2 or 3 days to dry
-You can survive for a long time on potatoes, oatmeal, and Cheetos
-Pomolos (like big grapefruits but not as sour) are really good
-But you should never eat a whole one in two days
-Funky things happen to your digestive system
-Problems with your digestive system are perfectly acceptable to discuss during meals
-Don't ask what you are eating
-Wooden chopsticks are way easier than ivory or plastic chopsticks
-Some things just smell like China
-The market is even grosser than usual when it's rainy
-NEVER leave home without an umbrella
-It's easy to make it all the way to class and not realize you're still wearing slippers
-If you hear banging or smell burning, it's probably okay
-You can adjust really easily to showering without a curtain
-Climbing the stairs to the sixth floor never really gets easier
-Check broccoli very carefully for worms
-Don't put big things down the trash chute
-There's nothing wrong with wearing coats and hats inside
-If the phone rings after 10:00 p.m., you probably don't want to talk to whomever is calling
-Don't buy newly-released movies too soon--they may only be in Russian
-If your slipper is too close to the heater, it will get scorched
-It is not culturally acceptable to wear shorts or short sleeves after September, even if it is 70 degrees out
-It's also unacceptable to be seen without a jacket on after September, regardless of the weather
-Which is why yesterday, when it was 70 degrees, the old men were out in their fur hats, long johns, and winter coats
-Taking your jacket off in front of other people is rude
-Students are really dumb about cheating
-If you have to stop writing on the chalkboard to pull up your pants, students will think it's very funny
-They also think it's funny when you draw pictures
-Or dance
-Or sing
-Or forget what you are saying
-It's really difficult to continue teaching class after you get the giggles
-Watching a chicken being plucked is sort of a fascinating process
-Sometimes, going to the Wang Ke Long (grocery store) causes a nervous breakdown and you come out with 20 kuai worth of candy and nothing else
This is my Tuesday morning Oral class in our really leaky classroom
This is for you, Dad. This is my favorite potato lady! She fries the potatoes with cabbage, cilantro, celery, and scallions in oil with a little garlic. She adds soy sauce, some other kind of sauce, some sort of white powder. I'm probably being slowly drugged, but I don't care. They are totally worth it. She gives them to you in a little baggy and you take a pair of kuazi (kwide-zuh) (chopsticks) from the bag on the right of her cart and off you go!
I can't believe it's November already! Time flies...sometimes. It's been an interesting few days. I went to the market yesterday. I understood what two people asked me! I unfortunately did not know that it was sausage-making day in the market. The parts of the market that sell meat are gross as it is. It's a little like living in Upton Sinclair's world with pieces of animals laid on on tables all over the place and blood on the ground and flies and stench. Seeing them make sausage is 15 times worse...and at the same time, I was a little disappointed I forgot my camera. It's kind of like a car wreck--you can't look away.
Last night, we went to a Halloween party at the English Salon. We told ghost stories and helped with trick or treating and learned Halloween poems. There were probably close to 60 students there, and we had a lot of fun. After the party, Kris and Liz and I went to dinner with some of our students--Robert, Seb, Karrah, and Claire. Kris, Liz, and I got the giggles at the beginning of dinner, and we laughed our way through the whole meal. Nothing was really all that funny, but the combination of us mishearing each other (Kris thought "Pachelbel" was "Taco Bell") and things the students did kept us cracking up the whole time. That's probably the last time they ever eat with us :) The picture in this blog is of us at dinner. It's the first time we've ever gotten to sit on the couch at our restaurant!
On to happenings in class...on Tuesday, I had it in my head that my class started at 2:15. It's a long story, but I had a relatively logical reason for thinking that. I got to class...and my class wasn't there. They weren't around the corner, they weren't in the other room, they were just...gone. I looked at my watch to make sure I wasn't an hour early, and then I thought really hard about what day it was. I finally came to the conclusion that I was in fact in the right place at the right time. I was just...student-less. I decided it must be some crazy Chinese thing that I didn't understand, so I went home. I finally was told that class is actually at 2:10, and my students didn't see me so they left. I am now instating a "you must wait 15 minutes AFTER the bell before you can leave" rule.
Today in the same class (I teach them 3 times a week), when the room was fairly quiet, one of my students burst into song. Really loudly. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I had to turn around to regain my composure. I have no idea why he did that, but it made my day. Probably embarrassed the heck out of him, but oh well. I chuckled all the way through the first lesson.
Anyway, there is no logical train of thought whatsoever in this, so I am going to end it before it gets uglier. Have a lovely day!
This is what kids in China do for fun--crawl in plastic balls in the middle of a river. I wanted to do it too, but apparently I'm too big or something crazy like that. However, I'm 15 lbs. smaller than I was this time three months ago, so maybe in another three months they'll let me play in the ball too.
